Sometimes it is especially difficult to be a slave. There are times when you wish to run screaming headlong into the biggest temwood tree you can find because that is what you feel you are up against. These are the most trying times for you. There is not a woman/man alive that has not felt the same feelings you are going through. raine can only speak as a female slave, that is what she is.

raine has been through just about every emotion that coincides with slavery (especially online Gor). She has lived through a man's total absence. She has survived being ignored. She has felt the tug of Another's heartstring here and there in her slavery for one reason or another. She has known master's who want her in their kolar and would be some of the finest master's this girl has ever known. She has felt rage, frustration, jealousy and feelings of unworthiness. At other times she has felt too good, and felt she deserved better than the treatment she has received. There is not a slave alive that has not experienced these things.

Most actions of a slave are a direct result of a master's actions. If she experiences jealousy, it is because he is spending time away from her and with another or in another place tending to others business. raine is not simply talking about other women or men, she is speaking of dealing with interruptions when you are trying to spend some quality time alone with a person. she speaks of those times when one is called away rt for a while and she is left waiting for his return and upon that return he is much to busy tending to city/camp business, others requests, other slaves, or whatever else is going on. raine is speaking of those times when one is called away to judge something, or spar someone, or rescue something like a missing child, deal with bickering slaves, run a camp/city etc… Yes, these things are important. But how important?

If you are a Master who is braindead enough to think that slaves are truly property and have to simply "take" being ignored, being shunned aside for whatever reason, then you will die an old man with none there to morn you. Do yourself a favor. Release the slave that loves you and tend to camp business or whatever else befalls you. Do not waste your time with the one person who would give anything, who sits and waits for you day after day, week after week, to spend five minutes alone with you. Let her go. You are doing her a grave injustice. And you are being selfish.

Why would I let her go raine? You yourself say she is waiting for me, she loves me, yadda yadda. Why? Because you are being selfish and indirectly, although not meaning to, slowly killing her. That is why. Raine has a website with information for any to see, to feel, to experience. If raine were to post some of the emails that she has received (which she will not they are confidential), some of the Free's in Gor would be ashamed of themselves. And they would also be shocked at what their slaves say and how much they go to bed in tears. But raine, you say, how am I to know these things when the girl doesn't tell me. Perhaps it is because slaves are taught to do nothing until called upon. She does not wish to disappoint you in anyway or seem a whining slave. What are the two words that are drilled into slaves heads...absolute obedience. She CANNOT tell you.

One of raine's favorite alt av codes is this saying, "Have you hugged your kajira today?" Whatever else is going on, is it more important than a slave that loves you? Now if you are sitting there shaking your head or simply ticked off, then you are one of the ones that I probably have an email from your slave.

Take five minutes...away from everything and everyone...believe it or not, they can and will wait…and think about it. Let the silence engulf you and allow you to really really think of your own life, your own actions towards her. Each action you do causes a reaction in another. Is that reaction a positive one that will make her stay? Would you stay if she treated you as you do her? Do you really treasure her or is she simply a possession. You decide.

"For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing." -- from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran