There was a time when I waited hours on end for just the sound of your voice calling in the middle of the night to say hello beautiful. Those days are gone now, overshadowed by the times that we have spent together that still bring fresh pain each time I think of them. It is a fragile thing a heart. It breaks. It may heal over and over but it breaks anew each time I think of you. There are times I wish we had never met, never talked, never loved. Life was simpler then. All it took was the smile on your face when you saw me to make me happy. A small note here and there, what effort did that cost you? A second? A minute? Those times are gone and with them any hopes of a future.  We were so good together. But you changed the rules. You lied and deceived when the truth would have been easier to bare. You continue to lie and deceive.  A part of me hates you now...the other part of me hates myself because I know that if you reached out your hand I would still come to you knowing that I still mean nothing to you and nothing would change...and that...that thought alone...terrifies me.  I have gone mad.