Below is a transcript of a conversation between Sandtiger and savita {RB} of Harigga on ICQ. It is self explanatory, however I need to give you the basic background in order for you to know what brought it about. I do not know if I would have ever known the conversation took place if savita had not ICQ'd it to me as it was going on. Again, this shows how slaves have to take care of one another sometimes in getting the "pretty" words to one another, but also, that yes, the Master really does pay attention to his slave although he might not tell her that. At the end of the conversation Sandtiger (and yes I had a major coronary) ICQ'd it to me himself. The purpose of why he did it will become clear to you as you read it. I have taken the liberty of removing the ICQ numbers, date, time (to make it easier to follow) but the conversation stays fully intact. Again, the purpose is to show a slave that even though a Man may tell another, it is rare that he tells you (His slave) his feelings. It may also reveal to you (by a Master) why he can't seem to find the words.


Sandtiger (to savita): you know how proud He is of you don't you....I mean...seriously

fire {RB}~R~: yes he told me tonight...normally he just yells at me

Sandtiger: Do you know how hard it is for People like Him and Me to say stuff like that?

fire {RB}~R~ Wrote: why is it hard?

Sandtiger: *sighs*...Lets see....you know how you said that I am good with raine....it wasnt so....I was about to lose her a few weeks ago...completely....through My neglect, though I did not realize it....My time gets consumed with rt and when I'm online, it seems I'm not even there cuz I'm always working on something....she would leave so many messages and emails that would go unanswered cuz I would be either busy or forget

fire {RB}~R~ Wrote: nod nod nod

Sandtiger: she would bust her ass in her serves with every detail, trying to portray honor like My own....and yet I would not praise her or her actions....I was losing her....Aye, Im a Man, but a Hard Man....emotions don't come easily to Me....I know the pain of the heart well, so I keep it locked up and I keep My words to Myself....

Sandtiger: though I might mean to tell her everyday how proud I am of her and her alone or how much I do care for her or even how happy I am that she is there to sooth Me and My troubles even though she does not know it...just her presence there is a comfort, she does not know....

Sandtiger: just seeing her name light up on My Q is all it takes to relieve Me of My worries....I neglect to tell her for I fear I will show her a weakness in Me that I see as a fault....that is why I don't say much and might be why Baron does the same..

Sandtiger then copied and pasted that conversation to raine's icq. The following is the conversation between Sandtiger and raine.

Sandtiger: *smiles......just smiles*

Sandtiger: I hope that apology to you is good enough

raine {Tgr}:~presses my lips to yours so softly, almost a flutter against them~....it is....

There are several things I wish for you (if you are a slave) to notice here. First, this was Sandtiger's way of apologizing to raine for the eight months of "scraps" of attention he would give her. Secondly, never is the word said that he cares about her to her. Third, she accepts it with grace, a kiss and two words knowing he means it, he cares for her, but also knowing it is never going to change and will begin again to ignore her because he will get busy. Such is Gor, such is life, such is online relationships between two people.

Know it is going to happen before you get emotionally involved. RT is going to interfere. Men do not talk about their emotions as women do (especially women who "portray" slaves and are as high strung and emotional in their roles and lives to be able to portray the wanton, fiery, giving slaves). If you have read the essay "Advice for a new slave" this fits under the category "the unforgivable" ~wink~

There will come a time when you will have had enough. You will have become so very frustrated that you simply do not have the will to care anymore what he does. You will not longer wish to wait until he gets time to say hello. You will no longer wish to play the roles and think you would want to find another to belong to. It will happen even though you know deeply in your soul that he is what really matters. It is going to happen. It happens to us all. How do you deal with it?

All I can tell you is this, tell him, talk to him, tell him the how's and why's. Communicate each feeling (ie., you feel neglected, unloved, unwanted, etc) of yours to him. Do not demand release. Do not be ugly and whiney. There is a way to say things without having to beg or crawl. There is a way to communicate, for what you think he feels (ex: I feel like a bother. I don't want to interrupt him. I'm not good enough for him. He doesn't need me), may not be how he feels at all. You just may not know the depth of his emotions, his pride of you, or his joy when you are with him.

special thanks to savita and Sandtiger for allowing the use of the conversation