I sit and I watch things in Gor and see the way they sometimes imitate real life. What set me off today (as like other days, but now that I have a website and it is not a "Gor" room I can sound off a bit because I know I am not the only one that feels this way) was watching a slave chase a Master right in front of his girl. I also sat and watched a FW make a fool out of herself (and she should be very glad raine is not a Master or would have face stripped her right there) over another man. What is with people these days? This is not a whine, or a transgression, it is a rant pure and simple. Do not read if it would offend you, but If you are a slave reading this you have experienced these emotions yourself, or you will soon. If you are a Free reading this, these are some of the things your slaves encounter as they sit in their silence and burn slap up with inner rage and never tell you.

I think sometimes I am the only slave on Gor that does not chase others Masters/Mistresses. I'm sure there are others that do not, I simply have not seen them. The phrase in Gorean I believe is that a slave must always, always be pleasing to a free. But let us face it, we are not in Gor we are in our homes. It is a deliberately hurtful thing to chase a Master/Mistress when their slave is sitting right there in the room! What is with these sorts of women (and some male slaves) who do this? Do they have no regard for another persons feelings who has to sit there and watch it? Would they do the same in RT so blantently? It is widely known that art imitates life and that chatrooms imitate life. I know in Harigga we try to follow the books as closely as possible. When I say chase, I do not mean the sexual serves. That is expected and I for one would think less of a slave if she/he did not add some spice to their serve. I enjoy watching them as much as anyone else. I speak of the coy flirtations, the staying hours on end to see them knowing they are already someones beloved. The way some slaves act one way with slaves when their Master/Mistress is around (all sweet and such) and then totally snub you when the Free is not around. This is insane and it is childish.

There is not a slave alive that does not wish to have their Free's attention all to their own. But this is not possible in Gor or is it possible in real life. If you have a mate in real life, there will always be others that will flirt, will give them "the look", will try to bed your partner. It has been happening since time began and will continue until the world ends.

As a slave to Sandtiger, I have watched countless F/females and a couple of males chase him. Is it jealousy that causes this rage? Of course. There is not a human alive that does not have an emotion of jealousy. Is it also then insecurity? No, I can honestly say no. I am secure in the relationship that exists between raine and Sandtiger. Very secure. Sandtiger and raine find comfort in one another and are friends as well as lovers.  We have been together a long time and have watched others come and go and will continue to do so. There is no way he could ever know (because like a "good" slave I sit in silence) how it hurts that O/others do these things right in my face!! Burns me up! Do they not have emotions like the rest of us? Would they like it if raine chased and flirted and got real sexy with their Master/Mistress? No, they would not! Could he know the inner boiling blood that flows through my veins sitting here? No, because I say nothing. I serve, I chat, I speak with grace and smiles when my hands are shaking with anger on the keyboard trying to type something such as "smiling softly...chuckling...laughing". Because "They" can never know that it sends shards of pain through my heart at their carelessness of another's feelings and blatantly chase what someone else already loves.

Sometimes this is the hardest thing about being a slave. FreeWomen must go through it also. I'm sure they do. I wonder sometimes if Free's get jealous seeing their slaves serving "hotly". Or if they smile in appreciation of the honor and pleasingness that their slaves give to Others in their honor. I will ponder that maybe. Sandtiger is very good now at picking up on my quietness when these things happen. It took him long enough to figure it out. Not his fault when I never said anything. I think it has to do with growth with one another, growth in the relationship, and security within both of us in that relationship. If you are a new slave or Free, I hope this rant served some positive purpose other than just being able to get this off my chest.

If you portray the role of the slave or FreeWoman you will go through this. I was asked once by a FreeWoman (in PM) when She was observing Sandtiger was being chased over and over, "raine, how do you do it? How do you sit there and say nothing when this has got to be killing you? I could not do it. I would have gone off long ago." I will never forget this as long as I live. The only reply I could make to her was "Because I am not a child who gets involved in petty games. He belongs to me as much as I belong to him. When this chase is over, like so many others before, I will be the one at his feet as I have always been until I ask to be released.  Until that day he has need of me.  If he takes another he no longer has need of me.  Then I will ask to be released.  There are those that would say that is unslavelike or a sign of jealousy.  Perhaps and maybe, however, a Master knows his slaves' limits before he kolars her not after.  Sandtiger has his limitations that he places on his slave.  I have one request of him.  Should he take another, he has no further need of raine and she'll be sold.  

What I do know are these two things and these I do know deeply and live by them as I play the role of raine: